Do you remember your first love? 

What did he or she do to catch your eye and make your heart go flutter? Most of us warmly recall this special human experience because of its emotional depth – leaving a lasting imprint upon our heart.

Jesse was just such a person. We were sixth-grade classmates when I first noticed him. Not only was he a great-looking guy, but he was also bright, kind, and considerate. He was athletic, happy, and funny. To know him was to like him. We remained great friends throughout middle school and into high school. In my sophomore year, my parents determined I was now a responsible teen and old enough to date. Who did I naturally want to date = Jesse!

I would soon discover unwritten rules regarding this taboo idea. It was not allowed. You see, Jesse had three strikes against him. He resided in a beautiful mansion on the bay called ‘Boys Harbor’ where he and his brothers were orphans, along with about 75 other boys without homes. In addition, his ethnicity was different than mine – Hispanic, and his religion was Catholic! “Dorothy, white girls do not date Mexicans. It’s not acceptable, and besides, we don’t want you falling in love with someone of a different faith. It’s important to share similar beliefs and a common background with anyone you date.” 

This thinking never resonated with me. Even as a young teen it didn’t feel right, so even though I wanted to be a good daughter, I’d sneak in a date with Jesse whenever I could get by with it. He was a special person…nicer than most of the guys I knew. At the time, my parents genuinely believed they were acting in my best interest. After all, this was Texas in the 60s.

Fast-forward - the Civil Rights Movement moved front and center in America. During these years, unwritten rules changed. Jesse married a white girl and lives happily with his two sons and daughter in our hometown.

I married a white guy, Frank, and traveled the world as a military family with our two sons; however, even families, time, and distance didn’t destroy our life-long friendship. 

The good news is before my parents passed, they demonstrated genuine strength of character and apologized to Jesse. He graciously forgave them.

A few months ago, I was home for a class reunion. Jesse and I sat down together and talked about days gone by. It warmed my heart to know he harbored no bitterness. He said as a father he understood, and that he knew they believed they were doing the right thing for me. He said at the time, he didn’t know what to think...he didn’t perceive he was ‘different’! 

Then he said something that really took me aback! He said, “Dorothy, all these years, I just assumed you left home and never looked back.” His surprise was evident at my response, “Absolutely not! YOU are part of my story – past and future…a story I have yet to write of lessons learned, of inclusion and worthiness; the distinction between success and significance."