Looking back, I find it fascinating that my mother and I managed to stay closely connected throughout my life, even though marriage to a career military officer took me far from home to remote places around the world. On top of that, she and I were very different. For example at 16, she eloped (not yet finished with high school) and married Daddy; fortunately, he was 23. (If I’d even considered marriage at 16, they would’ve clobbered me!) They both agreed he possessed sufficient life experience to guide them through the early rough spots. 

I’ve spent years reflecting on the two of us - Mother and Me. Where being our Mother and Daddy’s wife was totally fulfilling for her, it’s not for me. I love being a wife and mother, but this alone doesn’t complete me. I’m compelled to do more and be more. In fact, my internal drive to succeed appeared to perplex her. She just couldn’t understand why being a wife and mother wasn’t enough for me too. (I think she sometimes wondered if she was handed the wrong baby in the hospital!!) Early on, I made a conscious decision not to let our differences drive a wedge between us. 

I don’t think my parents were surprised when I became our family fulcrum. Within our extended family, I was first to earn a college degree, first to leave home and live/work abroad; first to earn my PhD. By most people’s standards, I was successful; however at the end of the day, these accomplishments didn’t align with Mother’s definition of success. I recall her saying to me (while mired in the hairy process of earning my advanced degree, while second-guessing why I’d put myself through such agony), “Dorothy, I’m so thankful my mother didn’t want a PhD.” The implication was I had my priorities askew, but I chose to let it slide. 

Let’s fast-forward five decades. I am a military wife of 50+ years, had accomplished all these things plus raised two sons successfully, and from the outside looking in, was viewed a success. But in 2017, I accompanied the John Maxwell Team on a national-level Transformational Leadership Project to Guatemala. At the close of a long, hard week, John made a profound statement, “Once you’ve tasted significance, success will never be enough.” Whoa…my heart leaped inside me! Did I feel success or significance at this point? 

• Could Mother have been right all along? 
• What did this mean for me? 
• What would my legacy be? 

This statement prompted me to embark on a personal journey to answer these critical questions. Sharing my story is part of this journey.