Frank and I recently attended the funeral of a dear friend, Nancy Mathis, in her hometown in South Carolina. My observation of her tender, well-planned service, struck me as to how this community not only embraced Nancy but demonstrated remarkable support for her husband of 68 years, Colonel Roy Mathis, who, decades before (while serving as my husband’s Chaplain in Vietnam) saved Frank’s life. We are forever grateful. During our time shared with this family and community, the importance of a life well-lived, and a genuine commitment to family, duty, honor, community, and country, became crystal clear to me. I have spoken with many military spouses who, over time, once they joined the vagabond lifestyle required of military service families, their connection to old friends - their roots – gets muted. You’re always moving forward with the military, rarely looking back. 

The role of a military spouse is multifaceted, requiring a unique combination of personal strengths and qualities to navigate the complexities and challenges that come with being married to a military service member. In Nancy’s case, life dealt she and Roy some devastating blows; tragically, while serving on active duty, this dedicated couple lost all three of their children (separately). Even though Colonel Roy had punched all the tickets and was destined for greatness – possibly become the Army’s first Baptist Chief of Chaplains - their third child’s death was the tipping point. Through the lens of the Chaplain’s insight and amazing grace, their need to return to their hometown of Gaffney, where they were known and deeply loved, took priority. 

It was the Army’s loss. Chaplain Mathis is an exceptional man among men, and Nancy was the epitome of an extraordinary military wife: selfless, well-presented, grounded, and resilient. She lived by this principle: Be kind whenever possible, and it’s always possible to be kind. Their joint commitment of service to others was evident throughout their military career, and now continued serving their home community. 

Nancy Spencer Mathis spent her life traveling with her military husband, and creating a beautiful environment, a Southern-Living kind of home for her family wherever the Army sent them. She was a gracious hostess, and a model of resilience, never complaining, while she and Colonel Roy ministered to the men and women in the Army. Throughout their career, they shared a magical kind of love, in conjunction with a deep faith that fortified their spirit and helped them navigate the unbearable loss of three children, remarkably without bitterness or anger toward God. She was classy and talented - a most beautiful military wife, inside and out.  In memory of Nancy Spencer Mathis, the family fittingly created a Christian Education Endowment Scholarship Fund at Limestone University. 1115 College Drive, Gaffney, SC 29340 or Chaplain Roy Mathis, Christian Education Fund (in her memory) 200 North Limestone Street, Gaffney, SC 29340.  

In a subsequent blog, I plan to mirror Nancy’s life to highlight common characteristics of extraordinary military spouses.

I welcome your input. What do you believe are these outstanding characteristics? 

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